WHAT IS LOVE?
By Allan Hardman

I believe that we are born as Love.

Many of us have heard the rather believable story that Eskimos of the far north have a very large number of words for snow and ice. This makes sense to us, since anyone living or working in a specialized environment would be likely to create a language that helped them communicate about their experiences.

Given that idea, have you noticed how few words we have in the English language for "Love?" My Thesaurus lists 13, including many love-lite words like "fondness" and "warmth." Is it possible that we do not have a large vocabulary of words for love because we do not live in an environment (of love) where we need a special language?

We use "love" for just about everything: "I love your new hair color." "I love chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream." "I love you." "I love to ski." "I love it when you are nice to me." "Do you love me?" Some authors have attempted to add more precise words to our daily language, like "agape," "Eros," and "familial," but I have never heard anyone speak them out loud.

So just what is this "love" thing? What are we talking about, and can we refine our understanding and language as a way to actually learn to love each other and ourselves more authentically?

I believe that we are born as Love. Imagine with me that there is a Creator of some sort, and that Creator exists on the unmanifest side of the veil of creation-- and we live on the manifest side. Let us also imagine that this Creator is Life itself, or the Essence of Unconditional Love. If that Creator wanted those of us on this side of the veil to have the experience of the pure love that exists on the unmanifest side of the veil, what better channel to create than a new born baby? You, born as one of those channels, came here to this manifest reality with no stories, no judgments or opinions, no politics, and no agenda about anything. When your mother bent over your crib to lift you to her bosom, I doubt that what was going through your mind was "Jeez, mom, who did you hair? Bad, very bad!"

As that infant, you were the embodiment of Life Without Expectations. And everyone wanted to pick you up, look you in the eye, and hold your eye contact for as long as possible. If you turned away, they tried to bring your attention back with all sorts of strange noises and facial contortions. They saw, unconsciously, that you were that channel of love, and they wanted to bask in your non-judgmental openness. They wanted to drink at your Fountain of Love. (Now as adults, of course, eye contact is strictly limited to brief glances, except for extreme flirting moments).

So there you are, the channel for Creator's delight, pouring your unconditional acceptance into the world. And everybody is eating it up like starving souls at a free banquet. And you don't even know what you are doing, because you don't know anything yet. You are just pure presence, existing, being Life itself.

Unfortunately, this Paradise cannot exist for very long. Like the story of Adam and Eve, the time comes when you must eat from the fruit of the tree of knowledge, and learn about good and evil, and right and wrong. In the Toltec tradition of Miguel Ruiz, we call this process "Domestication." It is the duty of the parents, and then the society, to teach you the rules of their game: The Dream of the Planet. It is hard to teach you anything when you are basking in the glory of Your Divine Oneness, so they insist you make a new agreement with them. They require that you believe they are the source of love, not you. You also agree that the Creator who sent you is not the source. You learn that love is a commodity, you need it to survive, and it is somewhat scarce. Further, you agree to be good, and not bad, in order to receive your share of this love commodity. You learn to be afraid that love will be withdrawn from you, as punishment for being bad. (Note that this is simply the way of the world, I am not saying it is wrong).

This is the day that Adam and Eve left the Garden, and went forth and suffered, knowing their guilt and shame... and fearing God.

As the domestication continued, you made more and more agreements with parents, clergy, teachers, friends, Santa Claus and God, about what it meant to be Good, and how to secure your share of the commodity of love and acceptance. You learned to domesticate yourself, to assure that you would always win the approval of those who controlled the grades, the jobs, the romance, the money, the applause, and, finally, the epitaphs.

If you are reading this, I assume that something different is stirring and awakening in you. Perhaps that something is your nature, your birthright as that channel that is still alive in you (although a little clogged up with old junky agreements and beliefs). I believe your nature is to pour that pure love into this manifest world. If I am right, then I encourage you to remember this truth about yourself-- that you are still that channel, and nothing has changed except your awareness of it.

The love that flows through that channel is pure acceptance. With no judgments or opinions or resistance to Creation, there is nothing left but the acceptance of what is. Have you ever had the experience of someone accepting you totally the way you are? Is that not the best feeling? Would you not describe that experience as feeling purely and completely loved? This love that is acceptance has no expectations or conditions. It needs nothing in return, and requires no response. You cannot bargain for this Love, and you also can never run out of it. The channel is connected to the Infinite Divine Source. That should be enough love for one lifetime!

So what is Love? I am suggesting to your here that love is your nature, your birthright. I am reminding you that love coming out of you as acceptance of what is offers you a connection with Life and the Creator as the Divine Source that can fill your heart with a joy and abundant happiness that can never be taken away from you. This love is here, right in this moment, underneath the fear and doubt from your domestication. It is that infant in you, open and innocent. It is you. It is the I AM, that which is eternally present in all of Creation. Sure, go ahead and "love" your new car or your new romantic interest. Love this web site. And love Life. Love yourself; because you are Life, you are Love. Open the channel. Celebrate it, celebrate you! Dance with joy in Life.

There is only this.

 

 

 

 

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Allan Hardman is an author and expert on personal and spiritual transformation, relationships, emotional healing-- and a Toltec Master in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements.™ Allan teaches in Sonoma County, CA, and from “The House of the Eagles,” his winter home in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico. He guides Journeys of the Spirit to sacred sites in Mexico, and hosts wellness vacations in Chacala. He is the author of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, and co-author of two books with Deepak Chopra, Caroline Myss, Dr. Andrew Weil, Prince Charles, and others. Visit Allan’s extensive website at www.joydancer.com, and TACO, his online spiritual membership community.